Awkward Dinner Conversation
No this is not a story about a pissed-off chimp at the Sheffield Zoo. And no this did not happen in Florida. Not sure why but I was kind of surprised to see this kind of thing in the UK. I guess I expected more of a people with such proper-sounding accents. Don’t know why I have that impression. I once got stuck on a train with a bunch of British soccer hooligans. Those guys were fucking morons.
What drew me to the story about a guy throwing shit at the police wasn’t so much the poop. Seen that before, not from soccer hooligans. It's never pretty no matter where it comes from. What occurred to me when reading this story was that it is a perfect example of how police work often does not lend itself to polite dinner conversation. Lucky for me my wife is a nurse so human absurdity has never been a problem for us when talking about our day.
But what if the cop this knucklehead threw shit at was dating a librarian or bank teller? Somebody with a supposedly nice, wholesome career. On a day like that, how does the dinner conversation go?
Police Officer asks, “You have a good day at work dear?” (I know what you're thinking. He would never be the one to ask that question. He’s too busy stuffing his face. Not here. Unlike you, he’s a good dude and genuinely wants to know how his girl’s day went. Especially if they’re still dating and he hasn’t locked that down yet.)
His librarian girlfriend smiles, “I had seniors romance book club today. It was fun. You?”
Police Officer sits back and is about to talk about lunch with his partner when he remembers that he didn’t get lunch today. Instead of bangers and mash (or whatever they eat in Sheffield, England), he was chaperoning a junkie through a psych eval at Sheffield General Hospital because said junkie decided to throw a shit fastball at him after terrorizing a local maintenance man.
What if they were having meatloaf for dinner? How do you explain you had to fight a human version of a pissed-off bonobo over meatloaf? If my wife didn’t have the same twisted sense of humor I do, I don’t know what we would talk about. In all honesty, her stories are more bent than mine most of the time.
I guess if there is a point to this rant it's that police run into crazy shit any given day. Most of the time those experiences don’t translate to people with so-called, nice, normal jobs. It's probably a great reason why we often end up huddled in our little clicks surrounded by nothing but cops and first responders.
Or maybe my point was that cops and hot nurses are perfect for each other?
Either way…
Reference:
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/sheffield-brute-attacked-cleaner-threw-23169229
So, what do you think of Ty Benhoff’s first book? So far, the reviews have been great but I want to here from you. I just got done mapping out his next adventure, poor guy. No details yet, hopefully coming, holidays 2022.